I am on my way out for a New Year’s Eve among friends, but due to perusing the news one last time for the day, am compelled to pay homage to rampant stupidity one more time before closing out the ignorance books for 2006.
It seems, although the rest of the world considers today and tomorrow to be nonworking ones, stupidity does not feel the need to take a holiday. Thank goodness death is not of the same mind.
A three year old is still alive tonight because death was busy setting up for its own New Year’s party.
The child is question was found this afternoon wandering in the slow lane on Interstate 465 in Indianapolis, Indiana.
Clad only in a diaper and t-shirt, his look completed by the casualness of barefeet, motorists were stunned to not only see the child, but to have to frantically swerve to avoid creating creamed toddler on the asphalt.
So, how is it that a 3 year old child decides the highway is his personal playground, you ask?
Well, that is where supersized stupidity comes into play. This time in the form of his piece of shit sleeping mother, NANCY DYER. (Sorry, but stupidity deserves to be outed, right down to the correct spelling of the idiot involved.)
Yes, whilst Nancy slumbered, little Damon took leave of their second story apartment, headed down the stairs, across the parking lot, around a fence, and out onto the highway.
But wait!, you say. Maybe she’s a good mother and this was just one of those freak, but terrible, accidents?
When police returned the child to his mother, she responded to the news of his exploits with the words, “Oh, he got out again.”
As in this has happened before.
As in, the police were just there as recent as this past Thursday when little Damon was out in the parking lot running around unsupervised.
And it gets better.
The apartment, described by police as “filthy” (color me all shades of surprised), contained Damon’s 2 year old sister who was found eating spaghetti off the kitchen floor.
Is there still time to nominate Nancy for Mother of the Year?
Nancy was arrested and remains in jail. The children have been placed in protective custody where, presumably, they will neither have to play on the interstate for fun, or eat their dinner among the roaches.
Before someone gets started on me, let me make this clear: I am not picking on poor people. Believe me, some of the best parents I have ever met in my life have existed on very meager means, cherishing their children. And some of the worst have lived in mansions on hills, neglecting their offspring full speed ahead.
No, my problem is with irresponsible, selfish, boorish, complacent, abusive, did-not-want-children-but-got-knocked-up parents – and they come in every tax bracket.
Children do not ask for you to have sloppy, unprotected sex. No one asks to be born. But once they are here, they deserve to be protected, honored, loved, and cherished above all else – above money, above drugs, above lovers, above sleep, Nancy. And if you can’t do it, or are not willing to do it, there are countless people in this world who would hit their knees and beg for the chance to do it for you.
A 2 year old eating spaghetti off the filthy floor. A 3 year old miraculously escaping death on a busy interstate.
You know – the voting may be closed for the motherhood award, but I would like to honor Nancy Dyer with the last award given out in this blog for 2006…
Congratulations, Nancy Dyer: You are the 2006 STUPID MotherF*cker of the Year.
You can pick up your trophy when you get out of jail. I’ll leave it on the highway for you.