It took less than 24 hours to go from "assessing the situation" to canceling the show.
Yes, Honey Boo Boo has finally been cut from the airwaves.
Do not expect me to cry.
I have made no secret of my disdain for TLC's fartfest in the past. That it found an audience beyond the disgusting behavior portrayed by Mama June and tick-about-to-pop, Alana, on Toddlers & Tiaras, was not a surprise. This country has a contingent at the ready to embrace just about anything that finds its way to the airwaves.
Yuppies who grew beards when they discovered being redneck paid better than letting on that they were actually educated and good golfers.
Hot tubs of human porridge where true love is always found, until the kleig lights go out and it is lost almost immediately.
A whole family of women finding fame for being famous from one of them "leaking" a sex tape.
Jungle, bare feet, bare genitals. Who wouldn't be afraid?
The list of reality TV is endless. Music shows, dating shows, pawn shows, cycle shows, fishing shows, talent exhibitions, exhibitionist exhibitions, and on and on. All different, yet all have one thing in common: they will cull a diehard audience which will defend it to its last episode as having some sort of merit.
Such was the case with Honey Boo Boo. A family of thinly educated, proudly rude, ill mannered individuals who fell backassward into a TV show. A TV show that was little more than all of them being boorish, talking in an language style so incomprehensible that subtitles were often employed, and the expellation of air. Belching and farting was their go-to manuever.
Now, before anyone gets their ass in a knot - we ALL burp, we ALL fart - that's not the point. The point is that most of us raise our children to understand, at the bare minimum, situational manners. That there is a time and a place and an audience.
The Honey Boo Boo clan is as raw and loutish as they can be. That they cashed checks for this behavior? Bad on TLC and bad on a parent who would whore out their kids' atrocious behavior to begin with.
And lest you think it was all for the cameras, that no one really acts that way? Mama June set that record straight years ago about her daughter, "This is who she is. This is her everyday life. She's got her own little personality."
Aside from the constant unseemliness and lack of any manners or intelligence, the fact that the health of its "star" was of little concern has always amazed me. Alana, who was a chubby child when she first belched her way onto T&T, has done nothing but grow into a seriously overweight child.
And yes, THAT IS WRONG.
Look, if her mother wants to indulge herself to the extent she does, fine. But that child does not deserve to be a victim of her parents' choices.
Which brings us to the cancellation of their show.
Apparently Mama June, who separated from love Sugar Bear (I swear, if you can't count on love born of a mutual lack of decorum and a camo wedding dress to last, what can you count on?), earlier this year, has been hooking back up with a man from her past.
Not exactly history making, that kind of thing happens a lot - on and off TV.
Well, what sets this tryst apart is that the man in her life, Mark McDaniel, was recently released from a 10 year prison stint for molesting one of her own daughters.
Yes, that's right. Daughter Anna, now 20, came forward last week when this story first started coming to light to let everyone know that SHE is the one he forced himself on when she was 8. From the court records:
"[McDaniel] did then and there unlawfully perform an immoral and indecent act which did involve an act of sodomy to Anna Shannon with intent to arouse and satisfy the sexual desires of said accused and said act involving the mouth of said Anna Shannon and the sex organ of the accused."
Of course, last week Mama June, not so stupid as to not understand the threat to her "bread and skettie" that a rumor of her dating a sex offender could bring, denied, denied, denied.
Until pictures started to come forward. Oops.
And then more pictures came out. Oops. Oops.
And then information that she was house hunting with him, and had bought him a car. Triple oops.
Then TLC pulled the plug.
While they are happy enough to rake in the revenue from hideous behavior, they apparently can draw the line at what kind of hideous behavior. Belching? Fine. Blow job from a 8 year old? Not so fine.
What is most disturbing in this is that photo evidence has come forward that show not only June hanging out with this piece of shit, but Alana is in the picture with them.
Quick! Someone get the paperwork for the Mother of the Year nominations!
Sadly, it is apparent that TLC should have dug a little deeper in the beginning than just pissing themselves that they had found the Holy Grail of Hideous.
Mama June has a history of stellar decision making. Her 17 year-old daughter Jessica's father, Michael Anthony Ford, was arrested in 2005 and later convicted of sexually exploiting a child over the Internet. He currently resides in prison in Georgia.
Sugar Bear, Alana's biological father, was once sentenced to five years for robbing a series of campsites and setting fire to another.
Yet another daughter's father, Anna's bio dad David Dunn, did jail time for stealing a handgun and, in a separate incident, for stealing a carton of cigarettes.
See a trend there, TLC? Newsflash: Cheap people tend to have cheap behavior.
And again, before your rump ties itself into a sheepshank, I don't mean money buys class. It so obviously doesn't (Kardashians). I mean that cheap, disgusting behavior typically reflects the cheap, disgusting people in question. And cheap people are found in every layer of the income cake.
The whole thing has been shameful from the beginning. Anyone who thinks this group of people got a show because of anything but the trainwreck-rubberneck factor is delusional. TLC saw a chance to exploit them, and that's what they did.
Mama June may be stupid, but the producers weren't. If the GTL-drunkfest-vomit parade of the Jersey kids could be embraced for so long, of course this homage to trashy behavior would be taken to the unwashed bosom of the masses.
The only refreshing thing to see come out of this is that the masses, even those who so stalwartly defended the show, are now running from it in droves. Seems people may have a taste for skettie, but not so much for child abuse.
Nice to know that some things are just too real even for reality TV.